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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Pick
Picks
Politician
Politics
Done
Nothin
Politicians

More quotes by Red Skelton

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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Red Skelton
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
Red Skelton
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
Red Skelton
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
Red Skelton
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton