Quote

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Used
Jokes
Young
Boys
Told
Washed
Inspiration
Soap
Heard
Deaf
Language
Joke
Mother
Dirty
Hands
Sign

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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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