Quote

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Mother
Dirty
Hands
Sign
Used
Jokes
Young
Boys
Told
Washed
Inspiration
Soap
Heard
Deaf
Language
Joke

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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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