Quote

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Young
Boys
Told
Washed
Inspiration
Soap
Heard
Deaf
Language
Joke
Mother
Dirty
Hands
Sign
Used
Jokes

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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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