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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Two
Packs
Great
Fell
Looked
Humor
Inspiration
Wife
Days
Mud
Funny
Pack

More quotes by Red Skelton

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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton