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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Carrying
Plenty
Friendship
Exercise
Friends
Coffins

More quotes by Red Skelton

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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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