Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
Red Skelton
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Friendship
Exercise
Friends
Coffins
Carrying
Plenty
More quotes by Red Skelton
Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton
I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton
I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton
Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton
I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
Red Skelton
Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
Red Skelton
Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
Red Skelton
You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton
Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
Red Skelton