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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Mind
Narrowness
Waist
Places
Age
Change

More quotes by Red Skelton

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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton