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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Family
Around
Whole
Fireplace
Fireplaces
Gather
Consider
Television
American

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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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