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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Places
Getting
Waist
Age
Broads
Tell
Broad
Mind
Narrow
Birthday
Aging
Changes

More quotes by Red Skelton

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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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