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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Getting
Waist
Age
Broads
Tell
Broad
Mind
Narrow
Birthday
Aging
Changes
Places
More quotes by Red Skelton
Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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