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I only come to life when there are people watching.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Come
Life
People
Watching

More quotes by Red Skelton

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Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
Red Skelton
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
Red Skelton
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton
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I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
Red Skelton
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
Red Skelton
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Red Skelton