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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Doctors
Dollars
Million
Green
Millions
Look
Looks
Wrinkled
Like
Doctor

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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton