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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Green
Millions
Look
Looks
Wrinkled
Like
Doctor
Doctors
Dollars
Million
More quotes by Red Skelton
Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Red Skelton
Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
Red Skelton
I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton
Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
Red Skelton
It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
Red Skelton
I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
Red Skelton
You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton