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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Looks
Wrinkled
Like
Doctor
Doctors
Dollars
Million
Green
Millions
Look

More quotes by Red Skelton

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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
Red Skelton
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
Red Skelton
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
Red Skelton
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton