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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Marriage
Hold
Wife
Happy
Hands
Always
Recipe
Recipes
Shops
More quotes by Red Skelton
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Red Skelton
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton
It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton
I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
Red Skelton
You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton
I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton
Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
Red Skelton
No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton
I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
Red Skelton
A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
Red Skelton
People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton
Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
Red Skelton
