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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Golf
Exercise
Courses
Course
Friends
Running
Paramedics
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More quotes by Red Skelton

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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
Red Skelton
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton