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Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Billions
Congress
Bingo
More quotes by Red Skelton
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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I left home because I was hungry.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton