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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Mistakes
Married
Marriage
Mistake
Inspirational
Find
Make
Men
Sooner

More quotes by Red Skelton

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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
Red Skelton
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
Red Skelton
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
Red Skelton
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton
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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
Red Skelton
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I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
Red Skelton
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
Red Skelton
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
Red Skelton