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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Married
Marriage
Mistake
Inspirational
Find
Make
Men
Sooner
Mistakes

More quotes by Red Skelton

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I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red Skelton
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I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
Red Skelton
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You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red Skelton
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
Red Skelton
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Red Skelton
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I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
Red Skelton
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
Red Skelton
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I left home because I was hungry.
Red Skelton
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
Red Skelton
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Red Skelton
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
Red Skelton
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Red Skelton
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
Red Skelton
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
Red Skelton
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
Red Skelton
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
Red Skelton
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Red Skelton
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
Red Skelton
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Red Skelton
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
Red Skelton