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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Laughter
Asking
Errand
Asks
Errands
Funny
Bedtime
Running
Sentimental
Kids
Parenting
Children
Humorous
Silly

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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
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