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Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Red Skelton

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Red Skelton
Age: 84 †
Born: 1913
Born: July 18
Died: 1997
Died: September 17
Circus Performer
Comedian
Composer
Entertainer
Film Actor
Painter
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Richard Bernard Skelton
Richard Skelton
Richard Red Skelton
Running
Sentimental
Kids
Parenting
Children
Humorous
Silly
Laughter
Asking
Errand
Asks
Errands
Funny
Bedtime

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I left home because I was hungry.
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I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.
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Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
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I only come to life when there are people watching.
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You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
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Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
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I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
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Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
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Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.
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Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
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It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.
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I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
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Congress: Bingo with billions.
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My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
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People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.
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Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
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We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
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She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off
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