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Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons
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Red Buttons
Age: 87 †
Born: 1919
Born: February 5
Died: 2006
Died: July 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Aaron Chwatt
Stake
Stakes
Dinner
Boys
Sure
Heartburn
Hope
Dracula
Heart
Wooden
Never
Drove
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Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
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Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!
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Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
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Vincent Van Gogh, who said to the hat salesman, I like it, but it keeps sliding over my ear. Never got a dinner!
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Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.
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Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!
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George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner!
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Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!
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Crispus Attucks, who said, Don't shoot till you see the whites! Never got a dinner!
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Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way.
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Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!
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King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!
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Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!
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Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!
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Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!
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Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!
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The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner!
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King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!
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Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, I owe it all to one great part. Never got a dinner!
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Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!
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