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King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons
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Red Buttons
Age: 87 †
Born: 1919
Born: February 5
Died: 2006
Died: July 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Aaron Chwatt
Dinner
Kings
Thousand
Wife
Solomon
Doesn
Headache
Never
Wives
Tonight
King
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Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!
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Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!
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I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.
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Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!
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Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
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The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!
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Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!
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Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!
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Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!
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Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!
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Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!
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Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!
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Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!
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Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!
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Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!
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George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.
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Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!
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Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!
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E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!
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Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!
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