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King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!
Red Buttons
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Red Buttons
Age: 87 †
Born: 1919
Born: February 5
Died: 2006
Died: July 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Aaron Chwatt
Kings
Thousand
Wife
Solomon
Doesn
Headache
Never
Wives
Tonight
King
Dinner
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Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!
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Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!
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Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
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King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!
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Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?
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Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!
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Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!
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Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!
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Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!
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Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!
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E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!
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Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!
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Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!
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Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!
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Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!
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Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!
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George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.
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Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!
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