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I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.

Red Buttons

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Red Buttons
Age: 87 †
Born: 1919
Born: February 5
Died: 2006
Died: July 13
Comedian
Film Actor
Television Actor
Manhattan borough
New York City
Aaron Chwatt
Always
Clowning
Joking
Helping
Giving

More quotes by Red Buttons

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Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!
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Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I'm on the throne. Never got a dinner!
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Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!
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The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner!
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Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!
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Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!
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Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!
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Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!
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Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!
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Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner!
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George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.
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The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!
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Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?
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Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!
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Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!
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Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, Where's the belief? Never got a dinner!
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King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!
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Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!
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Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!
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E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!
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