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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
Ray Romano
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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Fats
Middle
Success
Writing
Always
Royce
Aged
Neurotic
Mike
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It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy. But it was Vegas and things got crazy, and it happened. We go to Vegas to try to sign Elvis Presley and things get crazy. My character [in Vinyl] is stoned.
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
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Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.
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Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.
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I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
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The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.
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You know, a TV show is a slow build.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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