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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
Ray Romano
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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Writing
Always
Royce
Aged
Neurotic
Mike
Fats
Middle
Success
More quotes by Ray Romano
I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
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People think living in your parents' basement until you're twenty-nine is lame. But what they don't realize is that while you're there, you save money on rent, food, and dates.
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People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
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I just don't want to play the same guy again over and over.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.
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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.
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I want to do well and I want to fit in.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
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I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
Ray Romano
I have this mistress: show business.
Ray Romano
