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I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Anything
Good
Life
Like
Hugh
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More quotes by Ray Romano

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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.
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I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?
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In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.
Ray Romano
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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
Ray Romano
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Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.
Ray Romano
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I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.
Ray Romano
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I like doing film, you know, single-camera.
Ray Romano
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
Ray Romano
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Identical twins. I'm glad they're identical 'cause you save money on photographs. That's what I like. Yeah. Here's my little boy. I got another one just like it.
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The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.
Ray Romano
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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
Ray Romano
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The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.
Ray Romano
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
Ray Romano
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Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.
Ray Romano
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Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.
Ray Romano
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I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
Ray Romano
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That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.
Ray Romano
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I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.
Ray Romano