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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Dues
Taxes
Quarterly
Sex
Estimated
Must
Oral
Time
Renew
Driver
License
Drivers

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My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.
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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
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I'm always giving myself the Alzheimer's test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.
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You know, a TV show is a slow build.
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You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
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That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.
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I have this mistress: show business.
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Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
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For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.
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After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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I love standup and I haven't given it up.
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I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.
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I was wracked with insecurity.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.
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The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.
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