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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Driver
License
Drivers
Dues
Taxes
Quarterly
Sex
Estimated
Must
Oral
Time
Renew

More quotes by Ray Romano

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For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.
Ray Romano
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I like doing film, you know, single-camera.
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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
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The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.
Ray Romano
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The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.
Ray Romano
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I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?
Ray Romano
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
Ray Romano
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I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.
Ray Romano
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
Ray Romano
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You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
Ray Romano
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The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.
Ray Romano
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Mick Jagger also a music connoisseur and knows everything about that era. So, you knew the music side was going to be top-notch. It's HBO. On Men of Certain Age, if we wanted a song, it would break the bank. But, Vinyl can go all-out.
Ray Romano
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
Ray Romano
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
Ray Romano
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I just don't want to play the same guy again over and over.
Ray Romano
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
Ray Romano
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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
Ray Romano
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People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.
Ray Romano
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The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.
Ray Romano
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It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy. But it was Vegas and things got crazy, and it happened. We go to Vegas to try to sign Elvis Presley and things get crazy. My character [in Vinyl] is stoned.
Ray Romano