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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Taxes
Quarterly
Sex
Estimated
Must
Oral
Time
Renew
Driver
License
Drivers
Dues

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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
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Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.
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My daughter's tricycle said Some Assembly Required. It came in a jar.
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Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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I love standup and I haven't given it up.
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The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.
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In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.
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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
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I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.
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For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.
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I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.
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People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
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I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?
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After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'
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