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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Funny
Congratulations
Kids
Humorous
Ever
Wake
Need
Sex
Children
Baby
Needs
Humor
Think
Ready
Thinking
Sleep

More quotes by Ray Romano

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People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's not an easy transition from TV to film.
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
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Identical twins. I'm glad they're identical 'cause you save money on photographs. That's what I like. Yeah. Here's my little boy. I got another one just like it.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
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You know, a TV show is a slow build.
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The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
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I was wracked with insecurity.
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I like doing film, you know, single-camera.
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After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
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You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.
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Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
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I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.
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That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.
Ray Romano
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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
Ray Romano