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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Needs
Humor
Think
Ready
Thinking
Sleep
Funny
Congratulations
Kids
Humorous
Ever
Wake
Need
Sex
Children
Baby

More quotes by Ray Romano

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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
Ray Romano
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For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.
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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
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Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.
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You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.
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In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.
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The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.
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My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.
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Mick Jagger also a music connoisseur and knows everything about that era. So, you knew the music side was going to be top-notch. It's HBO. On Men of Certain Age, if we wanted a song, it would break the bank. But, Vinyl can go all-out.
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
Ray Romano
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After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'
Ray Romano
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I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.
Ray Romano
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
Ray Romano
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That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.
Ray Romano
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The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.
Ray Romano
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
Ray Romano
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Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
Ray Romano
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
Ray Romano
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I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?
Ray Romano