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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Married
Marriage
Stay
Successful
Bed
Funny
King
Two
Size
Really
Sake
Kings

More quotes by Ray Romano

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Identical twins. I'm glad they're identical 'cause you save money on photographs. That's what I like. Yeah. Here's my little boy. I got another one just like it.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.
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I love standup and I haven't given it up.
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After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
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I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following that line of thought, look at the magnificent rainbows after a big rainstorm. Isn't that proof positive that God is gay?
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I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.
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Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.
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I have this mistress: show business.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I also feel the aches and pains a little bit.
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You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
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I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
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You know, a TV show is a slow build.
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
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