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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
Ray Romano
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Ray Romano
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Married
Marriage
Stay
Successful
Bed
Funny
King
Two
Size
Really
Sake
Kings
More quotes by Ray Romano
I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
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The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.
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My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.
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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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I love standup and I haven't given it up.
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I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.
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You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.
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In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.
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Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
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I have this mistress: show business.
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I want to do well and I want to fit in.
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The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.
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Mick Jagger also a music connoisseur and knows everything about that era. So, you knew the music side was going to be top-notch. It's HBO. On Men of Certain Age, if we wanted a song, it would break the bank. But, Vinyl can go all-out.
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I just don't want to play the same guy again over and over.
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.
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Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.
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