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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Two
Size
Really
Sake
Kings
Married
Marriage
Stay
Successful
Bed
Funny
King

More quotes by Ray Romano

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I have this mistress: show business.
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
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I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.
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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
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That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.
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For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.
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It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy. But it was Vegas and things got crazy, and it happened. We go to Vegas to try to sign Elvis Presley and things get crazy. My character [in Vinyl] is stoned.
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
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I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.
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I just don't want to play the same guy again over and over.
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You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
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I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.
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I want to do well and I want to fit in.
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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
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I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.
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