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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
Ray Romano
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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Parent
Obscenity
Funny
Nearest
Keep
Round
Kids
Humorous
Children
Rounds
Mind
Baby
Always
Parents
Humor
More quotes by Ray Romano
The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.
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People think living in your parents' basement until you're twenty-nine is lame. But what they don't realize is that while you're there, you save money on rent, food, and dates.
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Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.
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I want to do well and I want to fit in.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.
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It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy. But it was Vegas and things got crazy, and it happened. We go to Vegas to try to sign Elvis Presley and things get crazy. My character [in Vinyl] is stoned.
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Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.
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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.
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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
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Identical twins. I'm glad they're identical 'cause you save money on photographs. That's what I like. Yeah. Here's my little boy. I got another one just like it.
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I was wracked with insecurity.
Ray Romano
The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
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