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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Read
Belong
Funny
Humorous
Two
Wild
Olds
Kids
Discovery
Channel
Children
Baby
Documentaries
Years
Humor
Informed
Really
Wasn
Occasionally
Year
Showing

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Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
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I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.
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The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
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For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.
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I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.
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Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.
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Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.
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That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.
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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.
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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
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