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Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Every
Humorous
Car
Baby
Humor
Parent
Funny
Kids
Children
Chloroform

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The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.
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I have this mistress: show business.
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I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.
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In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.
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I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.
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I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.
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I want to do well and I want to fit in.
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My daughter's tricycle said Some Assembly Required. It came in a jar.
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
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You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
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The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.
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Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
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I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.
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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
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The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.
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When you wake up one day and say, You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
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In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.
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I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.
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