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My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

Ray Romano

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Ray Romano
Age: 66
Born: 1957
Born: December 21
Actor
Film Actor
Poker Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Queens
New York
Raymond Romano
Raymond Albert Ray Romano
Raymond Albert Romano
Make
Clothes
Motivational
Gets
Wife
Morning
Family
Apple
Money
Apples
Every
Clean

More quotes by Ray Romano

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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.
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I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.
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You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.
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I have this mistress: show business.
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Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.
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I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.
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You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.
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As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.
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The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.
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I love standup and I haven't given it up.
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I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.
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I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.
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If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.
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The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.
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Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.
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You know, a TV show is a slow build.
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It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.
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You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.
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I like doing film, you know, single-camera.
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I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.
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