Quote

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.

Randy Glasbergen

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Randy Glasbergen
Age: 58 †
Born: 1957
Born: January 1
Died: 2015
Died: August 11
Cartoonist
New York
United States
Loses
Thank
Half
Press
Times
Calling
Funny
Weight
Pound
Right
Loss
Eighteen
Like
Humor
Diets
Thousand
Pounds
Lose
Presses

More quotes by Randy Glasbergen

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Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3
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Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
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These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it.
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What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?
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It's called 'reading'. It's how people install new software into their brains.
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He gave me a copy of The Declaration of Independence, then he got a tattoo that says Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death. I think my boyfriend wants his freedom.
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I learned about stress management from my kids. Every night after work, I drink some chocolate milk, eat sugary cereal straight from the box, then run around the house in my underwear screaming like a monkey.
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