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I’m glad you think so. I’ve always considered my sense of humor to be largely underappreciated, so it’s nice to finally meet a fan.

Rachel Vincent

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Rachel Vincent
Humor
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More quotes by Rachel Vincent

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Ask for the impossible, then settle instead for what you really wanted in the first place.
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So,would you say I’m closer to a zombie or a vampire? I gotta know—are my parts going to rot and fall off, or am I forever frozen in youthful perfection?
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The queen was my favorite chess piece. Unlike the women I knew in real life, she was powerful. Her job was to defend her husband at all costs, because while he was weak and practically defenseless—only allowed to move one square at a time—she was the strongest player on the board, hindered by no restrictions at all.
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He’s like the Rasputin of reapers.
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You know, most girls sleep with a teddy bear or an extra pillow. But I gotta say, that's kinda hot.
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So, did the costume come with a condom, or is that sold separately?
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It was an addiction. A pointless, self-destructive addiction. But really, is there any other kind?
Rachel Vincent
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Some day soon, reaper, your mouth is going to be the source of your own destruction. That does seem likely, doesn’t it? Tod glanced at me and shrugged. Until then, it remains a source of my own amusement.
Rachel Vincent
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What could thunderbirds want with us? I wondered aloud [...] We'll find out when Big Bird wakes up, Marc said. My father shook his head. We'll find out now. Wake him up and make him sing.
Rachel Vincent
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We would not have hurt the child, even if she is our natural enemy. Nor would we have hurt you, if it could be helped. Finn was killed by a male cat, and in exchange for that information, we also agreed to try to remove the female cats from your encampment before the true melee begins.” Melee?! Were these ninja birds? Green Berets with feathers?
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Sophie glanced from me to Sabine, then back, scowling. I'm not scared of her. I can handle myself. Yeah, and hissing kittens think they're badass too, Sabine said.
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Congratulations. Your official super-nerd badge is in the mail.
Rachel Vincent
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His name's Nash. Aunt Val took a butter knife from the silverware drawer. What year is he? I groaned inwardly. Senior. ...here we go ... Her smile was a little too enthusiastic. Well that's wonderful! Of course, what she really meant was Rise from the shadows, social leper, and walk in the bright light of acceptance!
Rachel Vincent
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I still loved Marc desperately and couldn’t imagine life without him. Jace was…something else. Something I could feel but couldn’t articulate. Something I wanted, and hadn’t been able to resist in my grief-weakened state. He was something that would have to wait.
Rachel Vincent
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Even before the withdrawal sets in, you'll do anything to get that feeling back, because as long as it lasts, nothing's wrong. It doesn't matter if you forget something, or lose something. Or if you fail someone. Nothing's wrong and everything feels good, and you never want it to end.
Rachel Vincent
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Tod's pale brows arched halfway up his forehead, and he looked suddenly, achingly wistful. She knows not what she says... Maybe not. But I was starting to get a pretty good idea.
Rachel Vincent
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There was just no good way for a dead son to greet his mother almost two weeks after his funeral.
Rachel Vincent
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I’d learned that my mother was a badass in disguise. She was Van Helsing in an apron and heels, and—at least for the time being—I couldn’t think of a single thing cooler than that.
Rachel Vincent
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Unfortunately, unless the job description included a translation of the prologue of The Canterbury Tales, I was dreadfully under-qualified.
Rachel Vincent
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I’m confiscating your hair dryer—you’ve fried your brain.
Rachel Vincent