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Life is funny, baby, and that's no joke

Rachel Cohn

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Rachel Cohn
Age: 56
Born: 1968
Born: December 14
Author
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Life
Joke
Jokes
Baby
Funny

More quotes by Rachel Cohn

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Hope and belief. I'd always wanted hope, but never believed that I could have such an adventure on my own. That I could own it. And love it. But it happened.
Rachel Cohn
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All this hoping for nothing-or someone-that's maybe hopeless
Rachel Cohn
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I could become a nun even if I am a non-believer. I'll learn to fake it like Nick did with me. I will minister the gospel of compassion and kindness and please, always use a condom, from famine-stricken nations to war-torn dead zones. It's possible I might become a nun who kisses other nuns.
Rachel Cohn
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They were tricky, those demons. Could they be trusted? Of course they could be trusted. She'd created them. She owned them. They wouldn't lead her astray.
Rachel Cohn
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The best is when we all go at once, like an army of interrelated popcorn zombies who laugh the same laughs and gasp the same gasps and aren’t so germ-phobic with each other that we won’t share a ginormous Coke with one straw. Family is useful like that.
Rachel Cohn
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She told me if I clean all the ashes out of the grate, then I’ll be able to help my sisters get ready for the bal.” “It’s Christmas, Dashiel. Can’t you give that atitude a rest?” “Merry Christmas, Dad. And thanks for the presents.” “What presents?” “I’m sorry—those were all from Mom, weren’t they?
Rachel Cohn
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Dumped doesn't even begin to describe it. If you're going to use a trash metaphor, incinerated is more like it.
Rachel Cohn
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Bruises mapped my body from bumping into tables and tripping over curbs while walking with a book in my hand, my eyes focused on the pages instead of the live space around me.
Rachel Cohn
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It's the great male fantasy-all it takes is one dance to know that she's the one. All it takes is the sound of her song from the tower, or a look at her sleeping face. And right away you know-this is the girl in your head, sleeping or dancing or singing in front of you. Yes, girls want princes, but boys want their princesses just as much.
Rachel Cohn
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I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas: It brings people together while time stands still. Cozy couples lazily meandered the streets and children trudged sleds and chased snowballs. No one seemed to be in a rush to experience anything other than the glory of the day, with each other, whenever and however it happened.
Rachel Cohn
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I'm liking that I can throw any kind of sentence at her without worrying it's too out there.
Rachel Cohn
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But I know the difference. Everyone else is a ghost. I exist here alone, stranded by choice. Deserted.
Rachel Cohn
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Therefore. Ergo. Erg. Argh. Ugh.
Rachel Cohn
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You should never wish for wishful thinking.
Rachel Cohn
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But, you see, that's the luxury of being a lout - you get to be selective about when you care and when you don't. The rest of us get stuck when your care goes shallow.
Rachel Cohn
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So much is happening and yet nothing at all.
Rachel Cohn
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[S]he leans into this guy and rocks her head like I’m making this music for her, when if I could, I would take it all away and give her as much silence as she’s given me pain.
Rachel Cohn
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The desert adapts. The people adapt. Live. Die. Struggle. Suffer. Create. The people in the real world beyond Demesne's ring are not all manufactured perfection. They deal.
Rachel Cohn
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Perhaps it's not that I'm frigid-- it's that once I decide I like a guy, I turn into a raging idiot, unfit for public appearances.
Rachel Cohn
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The universe doesn't decide what's right or not right. You do.
Rachel Cohn