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I'm happy. I don't ever have to pay anything, and I don't ever have to wash the dishes, and I don't ever have to behave nicely.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Pay
Happy
Anything
Ever
Nicely
Wash
Dishes
Behave

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Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
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Manners are love in a cool climate.
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The absolute nothingness of death is a blessing. Something to look forward to.
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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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To live in the past is to miss today's opportunities and tomorrow's blessings.
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Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to place their entire life in the hands of some other person. For this purpose they frequently choose someone who doesn't even want the beastly thing.
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The Americans, of course, are quite dotty with hospitality.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'
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In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
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To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
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There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.
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The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
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The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.
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The world was very feminine when I was young. And now it's very masculine.
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