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If I were God - and I never understand why I'm not - I should say, Shop around, I don't think you'll find a better bargain than here.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Think
Bargains
Thinking
Shop
Shops
Understand
Around
Better
Find
Never
Bargain

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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I can't remember ever having a tragic demeanor. Although my life was tragedy.
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In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.
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The Scots are very hospitable almost as hospitable as the Americans.
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It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
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Michelangelo worked from within. He described not the excitements of touching or seeing a man but the excitement of being Man.
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If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
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To lose is not always failure.
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I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
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The search for a life-style involves a journey to the interior. This is not altogether a pleasant experience, because you not only have to take stock of what you consider your assets but you also have to take a long look at what your friends call “the trouble with you.” Nevertheless, the journey is worth making.
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One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
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Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
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It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.
Quentin Crisp
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Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
Quentin Crisp
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The ... problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a real man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who goes with other men is not what they would call a real man. The conundrum is incapable of resolution, but that does not make homosexuals give it up.
Quentin Crisp
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I came first to America in 1977 at the invitation of a man who wanted to make my life story into a musical. But my agent said it was not to be and it was never done. So I went back, but I'd seen New York, and I wanted to live there. Because everybody talks to you in the street. See, nobody talks to you in England.
Quentin Crisp
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The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.
Quentin Crisp
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Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
Quentin Crisp
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Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
Quentin Crisp
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp