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If I were God - and I never understand why I'm not - I should say, Shop around, I don't think you'll find a better bargain than here.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Find
Never
Bargain
Think
Bargains
Thinking
Shop
Shops
Understand
Around
Better

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
Quentin Crisp
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All liaisons between homosexuals are conducted as though they were between a chorus girl and a bishop. In some cases both parties think they are bishops.
Quentin Crisp
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I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
Quentin Crisp
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The absolute nothingness of death is a blessing. Something to look forward to.
Quentin Crisp
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However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
Quentin Crisp
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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
Quentin Crisp
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated, it's frequently unnecessary, and it's messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
Quentin Crisp
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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
Quentin Crisp
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To live in the past is to miss today's opportunities and tomorrow's blessings.
Quentin Crisp
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What better proof of love can there be than money? A ten-shilling note shows incontrovertibly just how mad about you a man is.
Quentin Crisp
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It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
Quentin Crisp
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
Quentin Crisp
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The ... problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a real man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who goes with other men is not what they would call a real man. The conundrum is incapable of resolution, but that does not make homosexuals give it up.
Quentin Crisp
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England is very dreary, but I'm a people person.
Quentin Crisp
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It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.
Quentin Crisp
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Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Quentin Crisp
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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
Quentin Crisp
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The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
Quentin Crisp
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I am told that you regret not what you did but what you didn't do and so that's why I do everything, so as not to have any regrets.
Quentin Crisp
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What matters is not whether you put your fork or knife together because you've finished your meal, or something like that. What matters is that you don't offend people, or hurt their feelings by mistake by saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.
Quentin Crisp