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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Trouble
Mistake
Land
Mother
Children
Stepped
Made
Womb
Dry
Realized

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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Europeans are quarrelsome.
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Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
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However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
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When asked, 'Shall I tell my mother I'm gay?', I reply, 'Never tell your mother anything.
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It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.
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The Scots are very hospitable almost as hospitable as the Americans.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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What I wanted most of all was to use sex as a weapon to allure, subjugate, and, if possible, destroy the personality of others.
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You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
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Many [hooligans] discover to their shame that they have scruples they have roots and, greatest disadvantage of all, they have hope. The fathers superior of the order do not try to influence their children in Satan they merely shake their heads in sorrow. They know that the apostate must work out his own damnation.
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Exhibitionism is like a drug. Hooked in adolescence I was now taking doses so massive they would have killed a novice.
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What matters is not whether you put your fork or knife together because you've finished your meal, or something like that. What matters is that you don't offend people, or hurt their feelings by mistake by saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.
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To lose is not always failure.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It's not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it's the resentment that settles on your face
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The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy they want to be right.
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If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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I've always lived in the same way.
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Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
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