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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Dry
Realized
Trouble
Mistake
Land
Mother
Children
Stepped
Made
Womb

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In Manhattan, when you're out of the front door, you're on, and you have to be ready to smile and speak to people.
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The idea that He would take his attention away from the universe in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds is just so unlikely I can't go along with it.
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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
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I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
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To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
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I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
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What better proof of love can there be than money? A ten-shilling note shows incontrovertibly just how mad about you a man is.
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All America is much the same.
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It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.
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Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
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If I were God - and I never understand why I'm not - I should say, Shop around, I don't think you'll find a better bargain than here.
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I am the last of Britain's stately homos.
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Michelangelo worked from within. He described not the excitements of touching or seeing a man but the excitement of being Man.
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There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.
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I don't think I have a tragic demeanor.
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I started to shed the monstrous aesthetic affectation of my youth so as to make room for the monstrous philistine postures of middle age, but it was some years before I was bold enough to decline an invitation to Hamlet on the grounds that I knew who won.
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I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?
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It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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Exhibitionists have no friends, no friends at all.
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