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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Mistake
Land
Mother
Children
Stepped
Made
Womb
Dry
Realized
Trouble

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Many [hooligans] discover to their shame that they have scruples they have roots and, greatest disadvantage of all, they have hope. The fathers superior of the order do not try to influence their children in Satan they merely shake their heads in sorrow. They know that the apostate must work out his own damnation.
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To live in the past is to miss today's opportunities and tomorrow's blessings.
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I don't really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
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Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
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When asked to give advice, I do of course give it, because I give whatever I am asked to give.
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I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say 'Can I make up?' and he would say 'Oh yes - tinted?', or he would say, 'Oh yes - clotted?'
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God, from whose territory I had withdrawn my ambassadors at the age of fourteen. It had become obvious that he was never going to do a thing I said.
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Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.
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In Manhattan, when you're out of the front door, you're on, and you have to be ready to smile and speak to people.
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I don't think I have a tragic demeanor.
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I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me
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It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.
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All America is much the same.
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I am the last of Britain's stately homos.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated, it's frequently unnecessary, and it's messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
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All liaisons between homosexuals are conducted as though they were between a chorus girl and a bishop. In some cases both parties think they are bishops.
Quentin Crisp