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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Permitted
Misfortunes
Account
Accounts
Laugh
Journey
Shortens
Laughing
Hearer
Nothing
Pleasantly

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Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people.
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I started to shed the monstrous aesthetic affectation of my youth so as to make room for the monstrous philistine postures of middle age, but it was some years before I was bold enough to decline an invitation to Hamlet on the grounds that I knew who won.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
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Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.
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The Americans, of course, are quite dotty with hospitality.
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The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.
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In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?
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To lose is not always failure.
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I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
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Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
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Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It's not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it's the resentment that settles on your face
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For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
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This woman did not fly to extremes she lived there.
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Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
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The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.
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You can't be a person and a lady. If you're a person, you can open the damned door yourself.
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If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket.
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