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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Account
Accounts
Laugh
Journey
Shortens
Laughing
Hearer
Nothing
Pleasantly
Permitted
Misfortunes

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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to place their entire life in the hands of some other person. For this purpose they frequently choose someone who doesn't even want the beastly thing.
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Europeans are quarrelsome.
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The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.
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I learned very early in life that I was always going to need people more than they needed me
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'
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I'm too old to make drawings.
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To live in the past is to miss today's opportunities and tomorrow's blessings.
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Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
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The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.
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It's been agony but I couldn't have done it any other way.
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
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Michelangelo worked from within. He described not the excitements of touching or seeing a man but the excitement of being Man.
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I can't remember ever having a tragic demeanor. Although my life was tragedy.
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What matters is not whether you put your fork or knife together because you've finished your meal, or something like that. What matters is that you don't offend people, or hurt their feelings by mistake by saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.
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When I was young, I wanted to find the Great Dark Man. When I said that I realise now that people thought that by 'dark' I meant black, and that by 'great' I meant big. Whereas I only meant a strong, mysterious person someone who would 'take me away from all this.'
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
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Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people.
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
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Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.
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I am the last of Britain's stately homos.
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