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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Accounts
Laugh
Journey
Shortens
Laughing
Hearer
Nothing
Pleasantly
Permitted
Misfortunes
Account

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However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
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I started to shed the monstrous aesthetic affectation of my youth so as to make room for the monstrous philistine postures of middle age, but it was some years before I was bold enough to decline an invitation to Hamlet on the grounds that I knew who won.
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Exhibitionists have no friends, no friends at all.
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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
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Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
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You can't be a person and a lady. If you're a person, you can open the damned door yourself.
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Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
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What better proof of love can there be than money? A ten-shilling note shows incontrovertibly just how mad about you a man is.
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That's the only sense in which I've been lucky: I have the kind of face to which cosmetics could be applied.
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The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty.
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The Scots are very hospitable almost as hospitable as the Americans.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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When I was young, I wanted to find the Great Dark Man. When I said that I realise now that people thought that by 'dark' I meant black, and that by 'great' I meant big. Whereas I only meant a strong, mysterious person someone who would 'take me away from all this.'
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The absolute nothingness of death is a blessing. Something to look forward to.
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When asked, 'Shall I tell my mother I'm gay?', I reply, 'Never tell your mother anything.
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Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.
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When asked to give advice, I do of course give it, because I give whatever I am asked to give.
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Mass-murderers are simply people who have had ENOUGH.
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Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist - but then what isn't?
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
Quentin Crisp