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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Missing
Lasts
Last
Funny
Installment
Form
Obituary
Serial
Serials
Autobiography

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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If I were God - and I never understand why I'm not - I should say, Shop around, I don't think you'll find a better bargain than here.
Quentin Crisp
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I would never go to a place and live there because the weather was good or the scenery was beautiful or the architecture was wonderful. I would only go because the people are kind, and in America, everybody's your friend and happiness rains down from the sky.
Quentin Crisp
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Fear and hatred do not seem to find expression in tears.
Quentin Crisp
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Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
Quentin Crisp
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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
Quentin Crisp
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'
Quentin Crisp
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You can behave as badly as you like in America. Nobody notices.
Quentin Crisp
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Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.
Quentin Crisp
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I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
Quentin Crisp
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One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
Quentin Crisp
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In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?
Quentin Crisp
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Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
Quentin Crisp
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God, from whose territory I had withdrawn my ambassadors at the age of fourteen. It had become obvious that he was never going to do a thing I said.
Quentin Crisp
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I can't remember ever having a tragic demeanor. Although my life was tragedy.
Quentin Crisp
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Exhibitionism is like a drug. Hooked in adolescence I was now taking doses so massive they would have killed a novice.
Quentin Crisp
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It's written into the Constitution that you're allowed to pursue happiness. In England it would be considered a frivolous objective.
Quentin Crisp
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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
Quentin Crisp
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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
Quentin Crisp
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No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
Quentin Crisp
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The idea that He would take his attention away from the universe in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds is just so unlikely I can't go along with it.
Quentin Crisp