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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Life
Crisps
Grave
Graves
Existence
Happened
Funny
Thing
Way

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
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I'm happy. I don't ever have to pay anything, and I don't ever have to wash the dishes, and I don't ever have to behave nicely.
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The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy they want to be right.
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Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist - but then what isn't?
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That's the only sense in which I've been lucky: I have the kind of face to which cosmetics could be applied.
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Vice is its own reward.
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Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
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It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.
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To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
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You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
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Manners are love in a cool climate.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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I've always lived in the same way.
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As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.
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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
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Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
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Mass-murderers are simply people who have had ENOUGH.
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I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
Quentin Crisp