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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Happened
Funny
Thing
Way
Crisps
Life
Grave
Graves
Existence

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it's also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.
Quentin Crisp
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Exhibitionists have no friends, no friends at all.
Quentin Crisp
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I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say 'Can I make up?' and he would say 'Oh yes - tinted?', or he would say, 'Oh yes - clotted?'
Quentin Crisp
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If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
Quentin Crisp
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Quentin Crisp
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Fear and hatred do not seem to find expression in tears.
Quentin Crisp
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In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?
Quentin Crisp
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
Quentin Crisp
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When I was young, I wanted to find the Great Dark Man. When I said that I realise now that people thought that by 'dark' I meant black, and that by 'great' I meant big. Whereas I only meant a strong, mysterious person someone who would 'take me away from all this.'
Quentin Crisp
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The Scots are very hospitable almost as hospitable as the Americans.
Quentin Crisp
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To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
Quentin Crisp
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Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.
Quentin Crisp
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The world was very feminine when I was young. And now it's very masculine.
Quentin Crisp
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
Quentin Crisp
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
Quentin Crisp
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No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
Quentin Crisp
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Britain cherishes her eccentrics and wisely holds that the function of government is to build a walled garden in which anarchy can flourish.
Quentin Crisp
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I started to shed the monstrous aesthetic affectation of my youth so as to make room for the monstrous philistine postures of middle age, but it was some years before I was bold enough to decline an invitation to Hamlet on the grounds that I knew who won.
Quentin Crisp
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I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
Quentin Crisp
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
Quentin Crisp