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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Way
Life
Crisps
Grave
Graves
Existence
Happened
Funny
Thing

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It's not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it's the resentment that settles on your face
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I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say 'Can I make up?' and he would say 'Oh yes - tinted?', or he would say, 'Oh yes - clotted?'
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One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
Quentin Crisp
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I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.
Quentin Crisp
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Quentin Crisp
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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to place their entire life in the hands of some other person. For this purpose they frequently choose someone who doesn't even want the beastly thing.
Quentin Crisp
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If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket.
Quentin Crisp
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In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?
Quentin Crisp
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When I was young, I and the whole world thought that all homosexuals were effeminate. And of course they're not. You can just see which people are effeminate that's the only difference. So, I became a prototype of the effeminate man, because I was conspicuously effeminate. But camp is not something I do, it's something I am.
Quentin Crisp
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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
Quentin Crisp
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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
Quentin Crisp
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What is privacy if not for invading?
Quentin Crisp
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Britain cherishes her eccentrics and wisely holds that the function of government is to build a walled garden in which anarchy can flourish.
Quentin Crisp
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I am told that you regret not what you did but what you didn't do and so that's why I do everything, so as not to have any regrets.
Quentin Crisp
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
Quentin Crisp
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In England, nobody's your friend.
Quentin Crisp
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It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
Quentin Crisp
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Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
Quentin Crisp
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In Manhattan, when you're out of the front door, you're on, and you have to be ready to smile and speak to people.
Quentin Crisp