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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

Quentin Crisp

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Quentin Crisp
Age: 90 †
Born: 1908
Born: December 25
Died: 1999
Died: November 21
Actor
Autobiographer
Film Actor
Graphic Designer
Model
Socialite
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Writer
Sutton
London
Daniel Pratt
Denis Charles Pratt
Existence
Happened
Funny
Thing
Way
Life
Crisps
Grave
Graves

More quotes by Quentin Crisp

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The programs constantly repeat themselves and one another. No one has yet had the nerve to say, 'As we have nothing sensible to tell you between now and 8:30, please tune in again then.
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I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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Fear and hatred do not seem to find expression in tears.
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Manners are love in a cool climate.
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Vice is its own reward.
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This woman did not fly to extremes she lived there.
Quentin Crisp
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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That's the only sense in which I've been lucky: I have the kind of face to which cosmetics could be applied.
Quentin Crisp
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Politics are not an instrument for effecting social change they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
Quentin Crisp
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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Men get laid, but women get screwed.
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My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
Quentin Crisp
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I don't believe in convention at all. I do what I have to do to stay alive.
Quentin Crisp
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In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?
Quentin Crisp
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No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
Quentin Crisp
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It is true that in America I've become a national hero, but really I was a hopeless case, that was all.
Quentin Crisp
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Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
Quentin Crisp
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Many [hooligans] discover to their shame that they have scruples they have roots and, greatest disadvantage of all, they have hope. The fathers superior of the order do not try to influence their children in Satan they merely shake their heads in sorrow. They know that the apostate must work out his own damnation.
Quentin Crisp
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Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Quentin Crisp