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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Started
Religion
Idea
Thought
Ideas
Every
Facet
Facets
Medieval
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
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I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
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I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
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It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
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It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.
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I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.
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Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss we touch gloves.
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one.
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Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
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self-pity is better than none.
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Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .
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When I was a kid and we used to play Post Office, I was the Dead Letter Office.
Phyllis Diller
