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Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
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Phyllis Diller
Age: 95 †
Born: 1917
Born: July 17
Died: 2012
Died: August 20
Actor
Comedian
Comedienne
Film Actor
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Lima
Ohio
Phyllis Ada Driver
Phyllis Driver
Phyllis Ada Diller
Religion
Idea
Thought
Ideas
Facet
Every
Facets
Medieval
Started
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: I'm not losing a son I'm gaining a couch.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.
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self-pity is better than none.
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I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book or a friend who's #read one.
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Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
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I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
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My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
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Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
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For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.
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It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.
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